On my "first" father's day, I had the great privilege of preaching the Word at my church. Here is the sermon manuscript. It is a rather long post. The audio will be available shortly.
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Audio:
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Psalm 128:1-6 A SONG OF ASCENTS.
1 Blessed is everyone who fears the LORD, who walks in his ways!
2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;
you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.
3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD.
5 The LORD bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem
all the days of your life!
6 May you see your children's children! Peace be upon Israel!
I come to you as a new father. Last year at this time, I found out that I was going to be a dad. A few months later, I found out that I was going to be a daddy to a little girl. Then, on Jan. 16th, in the earliest part of the day, 12:28 a.m., Lydia Anne Stock, came into my arms to hold, love, cherish, and celebrate! Five months into it, I am a proud new father. Happy Father’s Day!
As a new dad, I come to you as dad who as a fervent desire to receive God and his good, loving ways on how He instructs parents and particularly fathers to be. I have much, so much to learn from God’s word and gain wisdom from it and those who have applied it well who have gone before me. My desire is to learn from God’s word. And my hope is you will learn from God’s word too. So, we go to the Scriptures. We find ourselves in Psalm 128.
The Fear of the Individual
In general, what is the fear of the Lord? For the Christian, the “fear” in the “fear of the Lord”, is not terror or being frightened. It does not or should not conjure up feelings of feeling scared as when an enemy or predator would cause. You wouldn’t want to run away. Recently, Mandy and I were at lunch with friends of ours and a couple who were friends of our friends. This was the first time we met them. It was a Sunday. As we were eating lunch, we discussed the sermon of our pastor and what we learned. This lead into a discussion on ‘what is the fear of the Lord’. The friend of the friend began to explain his view that the fear of the Lord is something which should leave you terrified because you see God as Holy, wrathful, and judgment awaits and even horrified. This was quickly expressed in how he treated his children in raising his voice with harsh, stern words and expressions while we were eating. We were set aback and felt rather unconformable. If I was that child, I would want to run away or be distant from my father. This view misses the biblical view of God and how he interacts with his children.
The fear of the Lord DRAWS. We see this in our passage in the title of the psalm. These are the Songs of Ascent where the people of God were pilgrimage to Jerusalem drawing near to God to worship him. This “fear” wants to bring the one who has it closer to the LORD.
This ‘fear’ is in relation to holiness and God’s god-ness which should and does cause a good fear, a “godly fear”. “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire” (Hebrews 12:28-29; NKJV). So you have holiness (God is a consuming fire) and you have grace/God’s goodness to us along with us serving and worship Jesus. In this picture of godly fear, you have God’s holiness and God’s goodness. John Bunyan put it this way, “God must appear like himself, speak to the soul like himself; nor can the sinner, when under these glorious discoveries of his Lord and Savior, keep out the beams of his majesty from the eyes of his understanding.” What is the issue Bunyan is bringing out? It is… How can a sinner, in the guilt and pollution of his soul, continue to stand in front of a God who is holy? Bunyan continues with the words in which the sinner hears, God’s goodness in the cross, Jeremiah 32:8, “ ‘I will cleanse them,’ saith he, ‘from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against me, and I will pardon all their whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against me.”
For example, when a father raises his voice to his children, a good fear can come to the child. The intentions of a good father, when he raises his voice, are to draw the child closer to him and his wise ways while keeping his place, as a father, so that when the child comes to him, he has a strong lap to sit on and loving arms to embrace his son or daughter. This is what we receive from our heavenly Father. When we come to our Heavenly Father through Jesus Christ, who took our sin and gave us his righteousness, we have the able to come and to sit on our father’s lap and have His arms to cover us in love in this godly fear. However, when a father does raise his voice and the child does not want to come closer but backs away in the corner feeling scared and unsafe. Then, ill-proper fear or sin has come out against the child and anger is displayed. Fathers, where are you? How is your voice to your children? Do you imitate your heavenly father even in your discipline?
So, if fear isn’t terror which cause you to hide from God, then what is it for the Christian?
As many of you may know, the fear of the Lord is reverent submission that leads to obedience. Those who fear the Lord walk in his ways, as our passage says. It is and leads to reverence, honor, respect, value, humility, submission, teach ability, and obedience. It goes deeper… It is the disposition of the changed heart.
It comes from the Lord. “I will make with them an everlasting covenant, that I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me” (Jeremiah 32:40). It has been performed and purchased by Jesus. He is the only one who has perfectly lived a life constant, full, and always fearing His Father, fearing God while he was on earth. “And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him, the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD. And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD” (Isaiah 11:2-3). It is His delight! May it be ours as well. It brings God glory, us joy and others good. The fear of the Lord has the Gospel as its core. One side of it is repentance, “The fear of the LORD is hatred of evil” (Proverbs 8:13). The other side is trust in the Lord, “The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe” (Proverbs 29:25). That is, it is comparing the fear of man to the fear of the Lord and in the fear of the Lord, there is trust. As John Bunyan calls it, it is the “grace of fear”. This is an empowering grace by the Spirit. As our passage says, “Blessed”. Blessed meaning happy is the one who has been given this gift by God.
Ultimately, the fear of the Lord is worship unto the Lord. Worship as a way of life. As the book of Ecclesiastes says, the fear of the Lord is the life before God. As the book of Proverbs says, it is the lens to see, interpret, and live this life, your life, and in this world, God’s world. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Everything is interpreted by the Gospel.
Simply, and kids you can get this, the fear of the Lord is acknowledge that I am not god. I don’t be believe the lie of Genesis 3. I am not the smart one, God is. I don’t have everything together, God does. My ways are foolish, His ways are wise. And you trust in Him. He is God and He is good. You worship and serve Him. You listen to Him through His Word and talk with through prayer. If you will, your desire is to be controlled by Him.
Fear of Man
We are going deeper into the heart. I hope you can go with me. Let me explain to you the fear of the Lord by contrasting it with the fear of man. There really are only two options: the blessed (the ones who have received grace) fear the Lord & the fool fears man. Every one fears someone. Everyone is controlled by someone. Rather than fearing the Lord, in the fear of man, you desire to be separate from God, controlled by yourself or others, and live as if you or some created being was god. You don’t “walk in his ways”, but do what is right in your own eyes. This is the life of a fool.
The fear of man goes through all stages of life. When you are a teenager, it is called “Peer Pressure”. When you are an adult, it is called “People Pleasing”. When it is a lifestyle, it is called “codependency”. Biblically, it is the “fear of man”.
Story of my first pair of Nikes
Go back in time with me for a moment to the 7th grade. I had long hair like the Beatles which wasn’t long hair at the time. It was the beginning the 90s. Anyway, in elementary school, I grew up wearing the Kmart blue-light special. I didn’t care I was under 10. But, then in middle school things changed and I wanted to make friends. I wanted to be popular and one thing I knew was that popular kids wore named-brand shoes. So, in the beginning of the 7th grade, I moved up to a pair of L.A. Gear. I knew I wasn’t in with these, but I was a step closer. Really, I look back on it and they were horrible. Think… a white basketball shoe with teal and purple stripes with the pump on the tongue of the shoe. Really? Anyway, it wasn’t Christmas time until I got my shoes with my Christmas money. So, when I came back from break, two things happen: I walked in my classroom with confidence with my Nike shoes on AND a girl noticed them. So, I thought my plan is working!!! HAHAHA! (Pause) No… it totally back fired and I was exposed. See… this girl came up and said, something like, “are those Nikes? Cool.” When she said that I was exposed as a fake because I knew I couldn’t live up to the “cool” people standard. I was scared of the very attention I was try to get. I was devastated.
I feared man. I longed for their approval to give me worth and value and significant. I made my Savior, my god in a piece of leather and rubber with a swoosh on it. What a mess! I lived like a frightened kid. I was so controlled by what other people think or might possibly think. This was just the beginning of my understanding of my fear of man.
What is it for you? Who do you seek approval from? Whom do you need to meet your deepest desires?
Let’s take children. Children are a blessing from the Lord as we see in this passage, but what happens when you make them try to fill your deepest desires? Much of the “we are doing it for the kids” is probably mending the feeling of “I am a bad parent and I am even a bad person so I will buy back (or atone for) my love for my kids”. They are my significance and worth. It is who and what my kids are and how they stack up to other kids which hold the worth that I need. And when you do this, you don’t love them, but use them. You use your kids to build your reputation so you have to manipulate them for whatever you think is good enough.
Haircut
Recently, I was getting my haircut at a low-budget, chain salon. I don’t like haircuts. I never have but I can bear though them. And I am not a fan of talking to the stylist. I would prefer telling them my prepared-statement about how to cut my hair and let her do her work. Some time, I think to myself, if I start talking to them, maybe I could share the Gospel with them. But I normally don’t… this is my fear of man.
Anyway, this particular time I saw a picture of the stylist’s child on the mirror and thought I would engage in conversation about him. So, I asked her how old is your son? Simple question. Well, I got more than I bargain for. The stylist begins to chat about her little boy who is about to turn one and the birthday party she was throwing him. She doesn’t just have balloons, streamers, and a birthday hat and a cupcake. She describes this elaborate Elmo party including a $250 Elmo cake and a $100 (I think) custom Elmo piñata which will not be hit. By this point, she wasn’t talking to me, but her fellow stylist. She goes on to say that she actually purchased another cheap piñata to actually hit. She said she has already spent over $500 on this birthday party and may I remind you, she works for a low-budget salon, we are in a recession, and all this is for a boy who will not know the difference (or care) between the Elmo piñata and the box which it will come in. But here was the key to seeing she was working from the fear of man: she felt guilty that she hasn’t told her husband or boyfriend. I had to cover up/lie about the whole thing.
She fears her son will not love her. She is controlled by him. She has to receive this love from her son, and is willing to manipulate him, so that she will feel she has worth. She desperately seeks the approval and love from her son. And she fears what others think of her who will come to the party. That she can throw this party and show that she is the greatest mom in the world. Being the greatest mom is not the issue, it is she deeply desires love which only God can give her.
This is an extreme, but a real life story. But, how many of you…
When at a party, it is a good party or a bad party based on what others thought or talked about the fancy appetizer you brought or if your dish is all eaten?
How many of you worry about your child’s rebellious streak not because of their well-being, but because your reputation will be damage?
Men… how many of you, invited all your guy friends over to see your home-entertainment center or tool shed or whatever to show off your stuff. You put your worth in the big stuff you have and not Christ’s righteousness.
How many of future pastors, like myself, will copy their favorite preachers to show myself adequate or great to others so that we can be praised afterward and feel we have value?
Why does this matter? If you fear people, you use them and do not love them. When you fear man, you use others for your approval and affirmation either by controlling them to show yourself great (PRIDE) or be controlled by others seeking their approval (idolatry). The fear of man is a deep issue.
If God is in the place of God and you live by His full approval of you in Christ, then you can love others. God loves others perfectly because He doesn’t need them for anything. He does not need me or you to make Him greater. He is perfectly Great! And so He loves great. When we fear the Lord, we know God loves us fully and unashamedly in Christ, He is 100% for us, so we can love others.
The Fear of the Family
This moves us into my second point of the text which is Dads, fear the Lord so that you can love and serve your family and others like Christ did. The rest of the Psalm centers around the blessed man, husband, and father. 4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the LORD. As this Psalm is a Song of Ascent, it pictures the man of God who is the father and husband leading his family to the temple to worship the Lord. Today, this looks like the dad waking up on Sunday morning, leading the way by helping getting the family ready for church, getting in the minivan and preparing the hearts of his family as they drive to church. It is leading the family into the worship service with a heart ready to worship Jesus. It is leading them in singing and listening to the Word because you, the father, have a spiritual vision for your family that all will fear the Lord. So, I ask, “Do you have a spiritual vision for your family? Your wife? Your sons? Daughters? Dads, it is our responsibility to lay out the path of the Gospel for your family.
So, I will end on four exhortations to fathers.
Enjoy providing for your family. 128:2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you.
This is not less than an honest day of work at a job which can provide for your family, but it is more. Fathers, you are the leader who has the God given responsibility to lead and provide for your family. This is in both areas of physical and spiritual needs. The man who fears the Lord sees the well-order life holistically. Spiritual, relational, emotional, and physical needs are all his concern of all those he is responsible for. A life before God. All of life is lived to worship and glorify Jesus. So, you daily submit to Him, trust in His work, His life, death, and resurrection, you repent of sin, and live out the Gospel.
Enjoy your wife. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house;
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband” (Proverbs 12:4). “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD” (Proverbs 18:22). The image of a wife “be like a fruitful vine” does not simply mean she will produce lots of children. This was surely a blessing which all women desire, but the image here is a symbol of refreshment and lavish enjoyment, including the joys of Song of Solomon. The wife is not quarrelsome (Proverbs 25:24), but is a delight and joy to be with. The psalm is picturing that however hard it is at work today or in the past week, to come home to a good wife melts the stresses at work and life is good again. You rest in God’s love for you, fear him and are able to love and serve your wife. Rejoice in your wife!
Enjoy your children. 3 your children will be like olive shoots around your table.
The good life for the godly man is that all those around him are worshipping the Lord and walk in His ways. This is the man’s vision and responsibility. The father’s vision for his family is that all will fear the Lord in His family for generations (v1). Consider this Psalm with Psalm 1, the blessed man is the one who meditates on the law of the Lord day and night. He delights in the word of God.
Trusting in the Lord for the growth (Psalm 127:1), like his physical labor in the field produce growth (v2), the spiritual growth of His fruit, his children, will “yield its fruit in its season and will not wither away”. His words will be wise and will not blow away like the chaff (Ps. 1:4) but they will produce strong olive shoots planted by the springs of living water which spring up and grow mighty! Dads, are you words coated with Scripture? Do they come from a heart and mind which has soaked in the streams of living water?
The blessed life for the man is to have all his children (and his children’s children) fearing the Lord. They will sit around a long, wooden table, the kind where you need benches for, and he will be surrounded by his family who are laughing, filled with joy, and obedient, all living before Yahweh. The table will be full of tasty delights and rich meats from the labor of his hands. His wife will be sitting at his side, they are holding hands, and rejoicing in the Lord.
This is a snapshot of the redeemed life. It restores the sin and curse which happen in Genesis 3. This is a picture of heaven where all the Heavenly father’s children will be sitting at the heavenly banquet and feasting upon heavenly joys.
Enjoy your grandchildren. 6 May you see your children's children!
The horizon of the life for the man who fears the Lord is wider than a moment or a life, but he envisions a legacy. You are investing physical, financial, and spiritual into your grandchildren. Proverbs 13:22 states: “A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children.” A wise father first cultivates himself, then cultivates a godly relationship with a wise woman, cultivates his children, and anticipates that his wisdom will be passed on to his grandchildren, who will love God and pursue life and ministry with ambition. Subsequently, a wise man begins investing for his grandchildren long before they are born, trusting by faith that they will need his college fund to further their wisdom and his tithe money to fund their ministry.
Dads, enjoy worshipping the Lord. Enjoy your wife. Enjoy your children and your grandchildren. Enjoy this Father’s Day. Let us pray.
06-20-2010 @ Christ Community Church
This past evening we had the joy of having the Heilmans over for dinner and blackberry pickin'. After a delicious dinner prepared by Mandy (we had mini turkey loafs inspired by Rachel Ray), we suited up in high socks and long pants for our blackberry picking adventure. I strapped Lydia to me with the Jeep carrier. Just up the road from our home, about 400 meters, we have bunches of wild blackberry 
brushes. As the sun was beginning to lay rest for the evening, we picked and picked these juicy berries out of the thorns and thistles. For about 30 minutes. We would have picked longer but Mandy got some ants in her pants, literally. I'm sorry sweetie! When it was all said and done, after a few bug bits (Lydia was safety for those who are concerned), we filled two big-gulp cups and we came back and treated ourselves to a small ramekin size of fresh blackberries and homemade whipped cream compliments of Sarah (that is they did, I don't like blackberries). Thanks Chris for the pictures!
