Picture of the Week: A really cute picture of Molly

Just waiting for her sister at ballet class. Pretty cute, right?

Picture of the Week: Perspective

Isabella was due for her immunizations. I didn't want to bring my older two. The waiting room is so dirty, all these sick kids, no appointments...just a mad rush to the doctor's door when it opens...hoping she'll say "Ok, you can be next.", and the ever-present-mosquitoes. Trust me, I remember from having to bring in Molly for her immunizations! 

The Plan: Bring in Bella, keep her in the carseat (safe from most of the germs) and quickly get her out. 

Well, I ended up having to bring all three. I walked them all down to the doctor's office, removed everyone's shoes and sat down. When I looked around I didn't see that dingy, dirty, crowded waiting room I saw 18 months ago. I don't think they remodeled. I had a changed perspective. 

There are just things that you adjust to after living in a developing country for a while. Stuff doesn't seem so bad, so scary, so hard. You start to compare Pondicherry to Charleston, Cubbon to Central Park, paneer to cottage cheese, chapattis to tortillas and Gems to M&Ms. The milk and cheese don't taste so different, you expect people to be late (and are ecstatic when they are not!), and realize everything is going to be ok. At least on some level, and I think this perspective is quite nice. 

At least Molly got to enjoy the slide. 

On Scarcity [or "Why I Almost Ate the Chocolate Chips Out of the Dish Drain"]

Right now we are stocked up (no pun intended).

We have 4 boxes of mac n' cheese, plenty of vanilla extract, a couple jars of yeast, fruit snacks and goldfish. I'm even burning a "pumpkin spice" Yankee candle! Visitors bearing gifts came the same week as a care package, so it feels a bit like Christmas. I never thought things like cereal and canned cranberries could make me so happy....until I lived here. The things I was used to are scarce. While we have it pretty good in this city (the second Dunkin' Donuts just opened!), there is scarcity. There are many things we can't find. And when we get them I have some decisions to make.

Do I hoard? Do I share (with my kids...neighbors...friends!)? Do I save them for a special event (Twizzlers for potty-training!)? Will there be more coming? And should I really be worried about this?

Then there's the dilemma of last week. I was baking some chocolate chip cookies (for Bible study, husband and self) and I dropped a handful of chocolate chips in the sink. Remember, our water is not drinkable. I gasped. As the typhoid-infested water swirled around my precious chocolate chips I truly thought, "Is it worth it to dig them out and eat them?". Much to my immune-system's delight, I didn't. But I know that those chocolate chips that I dug out and threw in the trash were close to my heart in some strange way.

Of course, American "goodies" are just the surface of the scarcity I feel. I am making friends here and I have good communication with many in the States. But like my cupboards, I feel I must stock up. I have a good phone call, a delightful play date, an unexpected email and I feel encouraged. I feel connected. And I want to hoard it. I want to soak it all in because I know that next week I may be busy, the time zone difference will get in the way, and thousands of miles really do matter. It gives me anxiety just knowing that, again, what I was used to is not available to me anymore.

And so I miss out on what is available: God. There is no (no, not ever) scarcity in God and His grace. He is there and pouring out His love on me. All this worrying about saving or giving or making the most of stuff and time and people never satisfies. It was never meant to satisfy me anyways. I was not made that way. None of us were.

Of course I knew that when I could run to Publix for chocolate chips or to coffee with a friend. I knew it when things were "easier". Yet I seldom felt my need of God. I was so easily satisfied by what I was used to. I didn't feel this longing. I didn't feel thirsty.

So maybe I need to feel this scarcity in things (and even relationships) so that I can feel and believe in (and therefore fully trust in) the fullness of God. This is the path He has made for me, so that my heart can delight in Him when I am in want or plenty, when I am eating Reese's cups or rice, when I am with friends or simply standing in front of my washing machine...I can delight in what my soul was made for. I can delight and not dig out of the drain. 

Picture of the Week: Guest Room

In high school we used to joke that you were truly grown up when you went to eat a restaurant by yourself.

In college, we changed it to going to the movies alone. (I never did this one. Kinda creepers right?)

Now that I am actually a real-life grown-up, I still have to be reminded of it. Thirty-three used to seem to old and off in the distance. Here I am. Thirty-three, wife, mother, and hostess.

Yep. I think [at least one of] the big "grown-up" hurdles is hosting a guest. For eighteen (and more) years I was a part and then a guest in my parents' home. I have had my own home for a while, but maybe it just takes time for things to hit me. I have my own home. I am the hostess. I better wash these pillow cases....

I thought of this tonight while I made up our little futon for an incoming guest. We've never met him; much like the woman we hosted last week. It's not all that common, but more common here than I had thought.

So, new rule: tidying up your husband's office, putting out clean towels, clearing the princess figurines and fluffing pillows for a guest certainly puts a badge on my grown-up-ness. Oh, and I will go to the movies by myself...whenever my children let me. 

Picture of the Week: Oatmeal

There are many epic moments in a baby's life. Rolling over. Sitting up. Sleeping through the night. Our youngest has accomplished one of those. So far. 

Isabella is "epically" giving solid foods a go. It's just pureed oats and water, but she seems to like it. As a bonus for me, it's a great way to get the other two girls sitting, quiet and actively encouraging their sister. Everyone's happy!