The story of Jonah
(according to Lydia)
Jonah disobeyed God. He was supposed to go to Nineveh, but he went to Target. And then, he got in the boat. There was a big storm. Jonah was asleep and they [the sailors] woke him up and he was all wet. They got him an umbrella. They splashed in the puddles.
Then they threw him the ocean. He had a floatie on. He was scared. And then the princess came [that's Lydia] and said "It's ok, Jonah, don't be scared". Then the big fish came. He was a whale. Mine was pink. He ate him up. GULP.
Jonah was in the big fish. The caterpillar was in there with him. [Me: "The caterpillar?" Lydia: "That's Molly. Molly is the little caterpillar."] It was stinky. But there was a floatie in the fish. He prayed and said "I'm sorry God. I'm sorry for disobeying". When I disobey I get a spanking...sometimes on my hand...or on my bottom.
The fish went "Paa-tooey" and Jonah was on dry land. I gave him a big hug. He was in my arms and he was slimy. Then he went to Nineveh and gave out candy to everyone. Lots of candy. That's nice.
[I call this the amplified version]
(according to Lydia)
Jonah disobeyed God. He was supposed to go to Nineveh, but he went to Target. And then, he got in the boat. There was a big storm. Jonah was asleep and they [the sailors] woke him up and he was all wet. They got him an umbrella. They splashed in the puddles.
Then they threw him the ocean. He had a floatie on. He was scared. And then the princess came [that's Lydia] and said "It's ok, Jonah, don't be scared". Then the big fish came. He was a whale. Mine was pink. He ate him up. GULP.
Jonah was in the big fish. The caterpillar was in there with him. [Me: "The caterpillar?" Lydia: "That's Molly. Molly is the little caterpillar."] It was stinky. But there was a floatie in the fish. He prayed and said "I'm sorry God. I'm sorry for disobeying". When I disobey I get a spanking...sometimes on my hand...or on my bottom.
The fish went "Paa-tooey" and Jonah was on dry land. I gave him a big hug. He was in my arms and he was slimy. Then he went to Nineveh and gave out candy to everyone. Lots of candy. That's nice.
[I call this the amplified version]
No comments:
Post a Comment