Maybe-Wise

Those of you who do not get my "punny" title clearly are not up-to-date on the latest parenting terms! "Baby-Wise" has been around for years, I think, but seems to be VERY popular around these parts. The basic gist is scheduling your baby around an eat-wake-sleep hourly routine. The book suggests this routine is healthy for the baby and the parents, providing sanity and predictability. It offers helpful tips for sleeping through the night, letting baby "cry it out", play-time, etc.

So, like any good suburbian mom-to-be, I read Baby-Wise while Lydia was about 4 months from meeting us...and even took notes. I told anyone who would listen how scheduled Lydia was going to be and how easy it would be to plan out my day. I laughed at the "feed-on-demand" parents and disobedient children (whom I honestly thought were a product of lack-of-routine).

Yes, I'll take that slice of humble pie. Hold the guilt please.

Enter Lydia. I have to admit the scheduling was good for the first 6 weeks since I needed to figure out what she wanted. Feeding her every 3 hours helped me know that at 1.5 hours she probably was sleepy or bored or gassy...not hungry. As she grew though I started living life a little more. No, not bar-hopping in Buckhead...but you know...grocery shopping, meeting friends for lunch, going to the gym...all those things an extravert needs at least daily. It got increasingly harder to keep Lydia on a strict schedule because, for instance, my yoga class did not fall in her nap time, but she would always fall asleep in the carseat on the way to the gym. I would feel trapped at home without getting out every so often, even if it was to go to the post office. And then there's the "I'm hungry" at 2 hours after I fed her and the "No thanks, I'd rather sleep" at 4 hours after I fed her. I also realized my motivation for a schedule was not for Lydia, but for my convenience.

So, at 4 months, I confess I have ditched Baby-Wise. I have gleaned some wisdom from it and feel happy I read it. I appreciate the moms and babies who do well with it. My friend, Rachel, for example has the most scheduled little boy I've ever met and it works for them. I remember telling Rachel when I was pregnant, "If I ever do demand-feeding or get away from a schedule slap me!". Thankfully she has been wise enough to not correct me!

But for me, and Lydia, we rock the "kinda-schedule". I still make sure she gets enough to eat without keeping her latched on like a koala all day long, she takes decent naps, sleeps "through the night" (read: 6 hours), and she seems to be healthy and happy. I'm not going crazy, have a social life, continue the ministry I need to, spend quality time with my husband, but then also understand the worthwhile "inconvenience" of having a baby.

My mom gave me this advice, which she got from my grandma, which Brian continues to remind me of: it's our baby and we have to find what's right for her and us. I pray that we continue to raise Lydia in a way that is glorifying to God and He shows us what works!