By:Mandy
Every so often it hits me. What are we doing?! Moving overseas means leaving behind Chick-Fil-A, baby changing tables, my Honda Civic...not to mention clean drinking water. In these moments of panic, I doubt. I worry about this whole missions thing working out. I do not like threats to my comfort, my convenience, my STUFF!
If you've never been a missionary before, let me tell you, lots of it is great. I mean, random people will say "Good for you!" and "Wow, you must be brave." (much like Tony, the Firestone guy, told me yesterday) and honestly, sometimes I believe them. And when doubt and fear come, I convince myself I'm better than that, braver than that...good for me.
I recently listened to the Desiring God missions conference as we drove up to Virginia for Thanksgiving. One speaker talked about the Great Commission. You know, Matthew 28:18-20. Missionaries LOVE these verses, most times because we think we get it. We get this commission thing, we are going! Good for us.
But one small point really hit me hard. He read the verse before. "And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted." Isn't it amazing that Jesus gave the Great Commission to even doubters?! Now, I have no idea what they doubted...his deity, his authority, his actual rising from the dead? Or is it more like my doubt...his being better than anything? His promise to sanctify me and shed, tear, rip off, and break through this materialism that captivates me?
Jesus is with me in my going. By grace, he woos me back and shows me my comfortable American life is not bad until it (or my clinging to it) stalls my worship. And He will renew me in gift-giving and receiving, shopping at consumer-driven malls, and soon as we leave so much oceans away...until we leave this place and go Home.
Every so often it hits me. What are we doing?! Moving overseas means leaving behind Chick-Fil-A, baby changing tables, my Honda Civic...not to mention clean drinking water. In these moments of panic, I doubt. I worry about this whole missions thing working out. I do not like threats to my comfort, my convenience, my STUFF!
If you've never been a missionary before, let me tell you, lots of it is great. I mean, random people will say "Good for you!" and "Wow, you must be brave." (much like Tony, the Firestone guy, told me yesterday) and honestly, sometimes I believe them. And when doubt and fear come, I convince myself I'm better than that, braver than that...good for me.
I recently listened to the Desiring God missions conference as we drove up to Virginia for Thanksgiving. One speaker talked about the Great Commission. You know, Matthew 28:18-20. Missionaries LOVE these verses, most times because we think we get it. We get this commission thing, we are going! Good for us.
But one small point really hit me hard. He read the verse before. "And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted." Isn't it amazing that Jesus gave the Great Commission to even doubters?! Now, I have no idea what they doubted...his deity, his authority, his actual rising from the dead? Or is it more like my doubt...his being better than anything? His promise to sanctify me and shed, tear, rip off, and break through this materialism that captivates me?
Jesus is with me in my going. By grace, he woos me back and shows me my comfortable American life is not bad until it (or my clinging to it) stalls my worship. And He will renew me in gift-giving and receiving, shopping at consumer-driven malls, and soon as we leave so much oceans away...until we leave this place and go Home.
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