1997 - 2010

In this life, you must learn to say "good-bye". It is never easy. Loss in this life is hard. There is a sadness in my heart and my legs. Today is one of those days. Sometimes words are hard to find so if you can bear with me through this post, I would appreciate it.

Today, I had to say "good-bye" to my first pair of running shorts. They were the perfect running shorts. Baggy, but not too baggy. Short, but not too short. A perfect blue with a black drawstring. You can see the picture below. I started running in the tenth grade of high school. This pair of shorts have been with me through it all. Thousands and thousands of miles through the woods and on the roads. Running on my the high school and collegiate teams. Training for road races even a marathon. Oh, how I will miss these shorts.

I have been considering getting rid of them for a while. They have been falling apart for sometime. But, as any true runner knows, it is so hard to find a good pair of running shorts that are short and loose.

I considered calling my long-time running partner, Zack, to have a memorial service for them. But, what would you do at such a memorial? Cry? Yes. Mourn? For days. But, what about the shorts? Burn them? I couldn't. Bury them? Its not the best for the environment. Put them in a shadow box from Hobby Lobby? That's a little weird. No, I couldn't. So, I write this blog post and hire a "hitwoman" to do my dirty work and throw them away (aka - Mandy, who is very happy that they are gone... again, they were falling apart and they had a particular smell to them).

So I say, "Happy Trails, faithful blue!" I will continue on without you and go on running for another thousand miles, Lord willing and 'da creek don't rise too high. :-)

Cloth Diapers: in the beginning...

Yesterday I received my awaited shipment of 21 cloth diapers from "Cotton Babies". Yes, we decided to go with cloth. It's very popular right now with all the "green" environmentally responsible living. Not that I don't care about the earth, but the primary reason we went with cloth was for the financial aspect.

Here's the math if you are interested. For 21 diapers I spent $350. I got the "Bum Genius 3.0", which yes, I know, sounds like a computer program...but it's an all-in-one one-size diaper. Basically that means that it adjusts (with snaps) as your baby grows and you don't have multiple parts...it's all-in-one. No pinning or waterproof pants required. Anyways, I estimate that for disposable diapers one would spend about $10 a week. Multiply $10/week for 52 weeks and that's $520/year. Hopefully she will be potty-trained around 2 years old, so that's about $1000 for her life of diapers. Now, multiply THAT by 3 kids (which we pray God will bless us with) and you've got $3000.

Of course, you have to factor in wipes (I'm using cloth wipes) and trash bags into the disposable number. You've also got to factor in laundry cost into the cloth number. But anyway you slice it, $350 is much smaller than $3000 (as you can use the cloth diapers for each kid). Another thing you have to factor in to the cloth consideration is TIME. I will be doing a load of diapers every other day...and yes, it is a bit gross. I realize that alone would drive many no-less-godly or domestic moms crazy. But as for me, I kind of enjoy the challenge of frugality...plus cloth diapers are pretty cute. Really.

So, take this post not as a condemnation against all you disposable diaper users. I say, do what will keep you sane and fits into your life. It's your kid, your time and your money...well, actually it's all God's, but I don't think there is a verse in the Bible about cloth diapers (Jesus in swaddling cloths??). Maybe the Proverbs 31 woman would have used disposables if they were offered to her. Who knows? I simply pray for all the moms I know, that they would be good stewards and responsible for what God has called them to do at home. Whether that's hundreds of loads of laundry or hundreds of trips to the trashcan....may God bless it! :)

saturday fun with lydia

We all got to spend a whole Saturday with each other this past weekend. It was a lovely day at home with Lydia playing on her blanket, taking naps, and just enjoying life together. Thought we'd share the latest pictures.

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Why I Study Theology?

This video captures much of why I study theology. The video was put together for a contest "promoting" Joshua Harris' new book Dug Down Deep.

DugDownDeep_Carnahan.mov from Covenant Life Church on Vimeo.

Tiger Woods: "I'm the problem" and "I'm the solution"

It has become a routine of mine that on Fridays during lunch time I go to the gym and work out. It is nice because at Reinhardt, we have brand new workout equipment and four big-screen TVs on the wall. Most of the time, I am the only one there so I will turn a few of the TVs on and watch Sportcenter. This past Friday, ESPN was televising Tiger Woods' statement. Here are some observations:

(1) I saw a man who was genuinely trying to save a marriage. He was deeply sorry for his transgressions and desires to repair the damage he has done to his family. It didn't seem to me that this was only to keep face and his "Tiger" brand. He had a genuine, heartfelt "worldly sorrow" for his marriage. On a side note, what I can take from this is how much greater is a godly sorrow and how much more do I need to repent as I have been given a "godly sorrow" which "produces a repentance that leads to salvation" (2 Cor. 7:10).

(2) Although he did not have to, in his statement, he clearly mentions he follows the path of Buddhism. This is what his mother taught him and he followed in his early years of life. Now, I wasn't expecting him to come out and say "I reject Buddhism and now I follow Christ." But, as I listened to him it broke my heart because he clearly showed Buddhism is a self-refuting, self-contradictory system in dealing with "transgressions" and sin. He said, "I want to say to each of you simply and directly i am deeply sorry for my selfish and irresponsible behavior I have been engaged in. People want to know how i could have been so stupid and selfish. " Definitionally, selfishness is an internal problem with you. You are the problem. You are the one who acts stupid and selfish. But, what does Buddhism teach (at least according to Tiger)? He said, "that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security." So, where is his "atonement"? where is his "security"? "I have a lot to atone for" and "I have a lot of work to do, and I intend to dedicate myself to doing it." So, you are the problem and you are the solution. You are the one for where the waters come up to your neck. You are the one who is need the deep mire. Your heart is desperately sick. But, your solution is yourself. You are the savior which is no savior at all. Buddhism, which system of thought is derived from monism or pantheism, says all we have is creation, there is no creator, but there is this divine force that fills all creation so that everything is sort of knitted together as one. The solution is this "apparent" divine force you have inside yourself. You are to look within and get in touch with this divine force. But, I thought the problem was selfishness. I thought I was the problem. To look inside myself is stupid. Contrary to this is the Gospel. Tiger said that craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security. Oh how this statement cuts any hope for Tiger's true solution: the Gospel. As the problem, we need an external solution. We need someone outside ourselves to save us and atone for us. This is the Gospel of Christ. Christ came into this world. He comes into desperately sick hearts. He is the Savior. The solution is outside ourselves. Look outside to Christ.

Monism, Buddhism and even other religions such as atheism, deism and theism, all have one thing in common which is, God is not the savior. In the others there is no savior. In theism, you’re your own savior. In Christianity, God is the savior. He’s the hero. He’s the rescuer. He’s the redeemer. He’s the hope. I don’t know about you, that sounds like good news to
me. If there is no hope, that’s not good news. If I’m the hope, that’s not good news either. If He’s the hope, well, that’s good news right there.

Lydia: One Month

The many faces of Lydia...we were trying capture a smile, but no luck! Still cute faces though!

Lydia is officially one month old today! She went for her check-up at the pediatrician and had a healthy report. She now weighs 7 pounds, 10 ounces and is 21 inches long (1.5 pounds and 3 inches growth since birth!). She is learning new skills each day including rolling on her side, holding her head up when laying on our chests, focusing on a face and smiling in response to mommy and daddy's smiles.

It is hard to capture each precious moment with this little girl. In some ways we cannot believe a month has already passed. She is changing so quickly and our hearts are growing each day to love her more!

Learning Contrasting Colors

Little Lydia is exploring the world in simple yet profound ways. At a month old, she enjoys looking at objects that have distinct contrast in color. Black/White. Light/Dark. Mandy and I are praying also that she will be able to learn at such a early age between truth and falsehood. God is true and His Word is true. One day when Lydia is older, we will teach her the truth and walking her through the Shorter Catechism which explains the Scriptures in a concise way written for children. But for now, learning the difference between light and darkness is fundamental for the future.

pride until grace

Pride is the most destructive power in the human heart until grace. Pride builds on self foolishly. Grace shatters pride and self wisely. Pride holds onto your accomplishments praising your gifts and talents. Grace pries all your accomplishments, gifts, and talents from you to reveal itself. Pride loves YOU. Grace loves You by hating You. Why must grace love you by hating you?

"God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." - James 4:6

The Father finding the Lost: Reflections on Luke 15

By: Mandy
I recently read Tim Keller's "Prodigal God" about the parable of the Lost Son in Luke 15, so some of this thought process might be gleaned from Keller. I have been thinking about the connection between the 3 parables of that chapter, that of the lost sheep, the lost coin, and the prodigal son (or as I would call it the parable of the lost sons).

The similarities are easy to spot. Things are lost, sought after, and then there's a party! First the shepherd leaves his 99 sheep to search for the one that is lost. The woman lights a lamp, sweeps the house, and "seeks diligently until she finds" the coin. Then we have the father of two sons. His younger son asks for his inheritance early, leaves home, and squanders all that his father has given him...he is lost. But here's what caught me off guard after having read this parable and heard it preached so many times: the father does not go after the son. He stays home. That's odd...not at all like the shepherd or the woman with the coin, and isn't a lost son much more valuable and therefore pursuant-worthy than a sheep or money? Isn't God (pictured here as the father) supposed to run after us? Why doesn't the father go to the pig pen and invite his son home?

Well, ok, he does run to embrace his son when he finally returns. He welcomes him home without a guilt trip and lavishes grace and celebration on his younger son. We have to give him credit for that right? But it still doesn't seem to fit very well with the other two parables. Unless, that is, if the younger son isn't the only one who is lost. Maybe the father is seeking to find another son as he stays home.

The elder son sulks in a mood of entitlement and self-righteousness. Although he has lived with his father everyday he is farther from his father than his brother was in the pig pen! As the party goes on and the fattened calf is cooked for the guests, the elder son pouts outside. Here's where the seeking happens: "His father came out and entreated him." The father is celebrating his son who has come home, guests are filling his house, everyone is happy...but he leaves all that to seek after the hardened selfish heart of his oldest son. We don't know the end of the story. Seemingly the older son stays lost, lost in his own bitterness.

God the Father is gracious to us to seek us and lavish grace-filled patience on us. I am very much the older son usually, sulking in my own entitlement. I give in order to be given to. I serve in order to be served. And all the while God patiently pursues me, comes out from celebration to consistently invite me in. Do I really want to stay outside? I hope I respond to God's grace with celebration, joy and gratitude. Praise God for His seeking after my heart!

The Attack of the Groundhog named Phil!!!

Happy Groundhog's Day!

Some may know that Groundhog's Day is my (Mandy's) favorite holiday. I know it has no theological significance like Easter or Christmas, no patriotic sentiment like Flag day or Presidents' day, or even any good cook-outs associated with it like Labor day or Independence day. But ever since college I felt sorry for February 2nd. No one really notices it unless you are resident of Punxatawney, PA and yet our entire weather system depends on a little rat-like creature "telling" a guy in a top-hat if he saw his shadow.

So, why not celebrate this incredibly random holiday? Lydia's due date is February 6th...of course she decided to come 3 weeks early; and I think it was so she could be here to celebrate Groundhog's Day 2010! My dad (her Grandpa) sent us a groundhog friend that Lydia seemed to enjoy (see picture). I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship! Maybe Groundhog's day will be her favorite holiday as well.